


Jagged Little Pieces

by Julia_Fractal



Series: Daredevil and Defenders Fics [13]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: #MattElektraShiptober, Angst, Awkward Sex That Ends Well, Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, College, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Friendship, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Hypersexuality, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Rebound, Whump, negotiated consent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-11 00:02:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Fractal/pseuds/Julia_Fractal
Summary: *~*~*“Matt wakes with a start, momentarily surprised not to find Elektra pressed up against him, or a dead man’s blood still smeared across his knuckles.  Instead there’s only the morning sun shining into his sightless eyes.  The familiar smells of his dorm room surround him: library books, unwashed laundry, his and Foggy’s scents mingling inextricably in the air…”***Matt launches into a downward spiral after his breakup with Elektra.  Foggy does his best to help.*~*~*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [no complaints from my body](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460101) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 

> Inspired by the excellent fic no complaints from my body. In their story Matt went through a hypersexual period after his breakup with Elektra, and although he propositioned Foggy, nothing happened beyond that. I started thinking about what might happen if things went in a different direction, and here’s the result. Thanks Anonymous Author!
> 
> (Even though this fic is mostly Matt/Foggy, I'm using it as my #MattElektraShiptober fill for the Day 2 prompt “Crimson.”)  


* * *

_*~*~*_

_“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”_

~ Leonard Cohen

*~*~*

During the few hours of fitful sleep he gets, Matt dreams in red.   
  
“Yeah, I killed your old man.I killed lots of fathers,” Sweeney boasts.“And now I know your name, nothing’ll stop me from bloodying the street with your corpse!”  
  
Standing before the ugly mobster, Matt is a child again.Shivering and bereft in that alleyway as he clutches his father’s dead body.Only this time he’s not alone.He’s got Elektra beside him, and he’s shaking not out of fear, but rage.He has to reach up to throw the first punch, but it’s a solid upper-cut and lands on Sweeney’s jaw with a satisfying _crack._  
  
“Yes!” Elektra murmurs in his ear, “Do it again!”Matt lets out a roar and unleashes blow after blow, feeling himself growing taller with every punch.In his dream Matt has the satisfaction of seeing the smirk he pummels off of Sweeney’s face, the bloody rivulets his fists create in glorious shades of red.By the end he’s the one towering over Sweeney, and the man is reduced to a pulpy mess that seems barely alive, barely human.  
  
“Finish him!” Elektra commands, but Matt is suddenly frozen with indecision.Elektra huffs a sigh of impatience and steps in, her hands wrapping around the back of Sweeney’s head, his blood staining her nails dark red.There’s a sharp _snap_ as his neck breaks, and Roscoe Sweeney disintegrates into dust as his body falls.  
  
“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Elektra asks.Now there’s only the two of them, and Matt’s own hearbeat is deafeningly loud in his ears.Elektra reaches for him, and her hands are suddenly everywhere at once.Caressing his face, stroking his cock, and scoring deep, deep grooves down Matt’s back that he never wants to heal.  
  
Matt wakes with a start, momentarily surprised not to find Elektra pressed against him, or a dead man’s blood still smeared across his knuckles.Instead there’s only the morning sun shining into his sightless eyes.The familiar smells of his dorm room surround him: Library books, unwashed laundry, his and Foggy’s scents mingling inextricably in the air.Only a few weeks ago, Elektra’s voice had echoed in this very room.Saying _“Σε αγαπώ,” and “Je t’aime,”_and “I’ll always love you.” The way she’d whispered _“Matthew”_ had lit a spark deep inside his soul…

Matt groans and buries his head under the pillow.He just wants to go back in time and unlearn everything he found out that night… about Elektra, about himself, and how terrifyingly easy it could be to end a life.Failing that, he’d settle for hiding in bed all day, wishing that he could disappear altogether from the world he no longer fits in.Only Matt can’t escape the roaring of blood in his ears, or the insistent pressure of his morning erection pressed tight against the mattress.Until recently, he never knew that this mix of misery and unwanted desire could co-exist.Before he could decide what to do, the sound of Foggy’s familiar footsteps along the corridor forces Matt to sit up and at least try to face the day.  
  
“Good morning, sunshine!” Foggy says in an overly cheery voice as he bursts through the door.“I bring us the finest coffee and bagels from the Columbia dining halls.Even nabbed you a tray for that decadent breakfast in bed feeling.”Matt hauls himself up into a sitting position as Foggy attempts to clear a space on the over-crowded nightstand for his breakfast.Finally Foggy gives up, plops down on Matt’s bed, and thrusts the whole tray into his reluctant hands.  
  
“Thank you, Foggy,” Matt manages with a ghost of a smile, manners taking over when nothing else could.The coffee is surprisingly hot, Foggy must have walked back at top speed to make sure it stayed that way.Matt’s stomach gives a loud rumble at his first bite of breakfast, and he wolfs down half the bagel before coming up for air.  
  
“That’s good, eat up!” Foggy says as he nudges another bagel onto Matt’s tray, seemingly relieved by his display of appetite.“We’ve got the study group for mock trials in half an hour.Then there’s the Nelson Sunday luncheon afterwards.Mom’s been asking why you haven’t been around for months, so prepare yourself for a lot of bear hugs and second helpings!”  
  
Not so long ago, what Foggy’s describing would have seemed like a perfect day, but now Matt finds it impossible to picture himself doing any of it.Arguing about precedence and case law as if justice actually exists outside of dusty books; accepting the kindness of the Nelsons when they have no idea of the darkness that lurks inside him…   
  
Matt shakes his head, “Sorry, Foggy, but I don’t think I’m up for it.”  
  
“Why not?”   
  
“I haven’t looked over the case files at all,” Matt tells him between bites, “I’ve got nothing to contribute.”What Matt doesn’t say is that right now he doesn’t even trust himself to make it out of bed and into the shower.That the only thing he’s accomplished in the past two weeks was bedding 25 different strangers in the hopes of filling the void left by _her_ absence.  
  
“Nonsense!You’re a whiz at cramming, you’ll catch up in no time,” Foggy assures him.“And if you really want to stay quiet, then I’m more than capable of talking for two today.”  
  
“Foggy, It’s pointless.You guys should talk to Professor Nguyen and find someone to replace me — before I drag down all of your GPAs.”  
  
“Come on, Matt, you know that mock trials count for 40% of our grade.You can’t pass the course without it.Just show up, Matt.Please…”  
  
“Foggy, I’m not going!” Matt insists, his voice coming out quite a bit louder than intended.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“I don’t know if I believe in the law anymore, Foggy,” Matt admits quietly.How can he pretend to believe in justice when he could no longer tell right from wrong or good from evil?He feels shattered like the broken glassware they’d left in Sweeney’s mansion — with no idea of how to fit the jagged, broken pieces of himself back into a working whole.  
  
Ever the good little lawyer in training, Foggy leans back on the bed and changes tack.“Okay, Matt, let’s play this out.Say you keep skipping all your classes and flunk out.Or, more responsibly, apply for a medical leave so you can come back when you’ve sorted things out.What are you going to do in the mean time?”  
  
“I could try my hand at becoming a gigolo, or find out if there’s a niche market for blind guys in online porn.”  
  
Foggy chokes so hard on his coffee that Matt worries some CPR might be in order.   
  
“Relax, Foggy, I’m joking!” he says, gently patting Foggy on the back as his friend coughs up the last dregs of coffee from his lungs.Apparently Matt’s dumb joke was a little _too_ believable given his recent track record.At first it had just been standard rebound sex — Foggy took him out drinking, and Matt went home with a girl who smelled like roses.The next night he’d hooked up with the first guy to glance his way.After that he started picking up three, four, sometimes five people a night, preferring to do it in the washroom or parking lot so he could get to the next encounter faster.Earlier this week Foggy and Marci had staged an outright intervention, and even Matt had to admit that this wasn’t the healthiest way to cope with a breakup.Still, admitting that he has a problem doesn’t magically make the burning need go away, and nothing else can dull the pain, even for a little while.  
  
“Matt,” Foggy turns to face Matt head-on, almost certainly wearing his _‘I’m being serious’ _face.“Can we please talk about the elephant in the room.Is this all because of your breakup with Elektra?”  
  
“What’s there to say,” Matt shrugs, “Things just didn’t work out.”  
  
“Bullshit!I may not be Elektra’s biggest fan, but even I could tell she was as crazy about you as you were about her.How could she just up and leave for no reason?”  
  
“Elektra…” just saying her name out loud brought a painful lump to his throat, but Matt forces himself to go on, “Elektra left for a reason.”For one mad moment Matt considers just blurting out the truth.‘_Well, turns out that my ex-girlfriend is a highly skilled murderer, and she dumped me because I couldn’t kill like her.’_But just knowing the truth could make Foggy an accessory to the crime, and this is a secret that Matt needs to take to his grave.  
  
“We had a fundamental difference of opinion about something important, and she’s not coming back,” he finally manages.Even Matt could hear the bitterness in his own voice, and mercifully Foggy doesn’t press him further.  
  
“Matt, I’m sorry that you went through a horrible breakup, but you can’t throw everything else away because of it!You need to get back to living your own life.”  
  
“I don’t know how,” Matt whispers, hating how cracked and pitiful his own voice sounds.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Foggy wraps him up in a bear hug and holds him for a long, long time.“Just take it one step at a time.Get out of bed, take a shower, show up to class.Things are going to be really hard and shitty for a while, but you’ll get though it.I know you can.”  
  
For a moment, wrapped tight in Foggy’s embrace, Matt could almost believe his words.He nuzzles into the crook of Foggy’s neck, inhaling the unique blend of coffee, aftershave, and warm musk that adds up to the smell of _Foggy _and _home_.Matt just wants this embrace to last forever, but unfortunately his traitorous dick begins to stir against his thigh, and he has to hurriedly extricate himself before Foggy could notice.  
  
“What can I do to help?” Foggy asks as Matt sits back, attempting to discreetly pull the covers over his lap.“Seriously dude, anything you need.Just name it and it’s yours, Matt.”  
  
Suddenly the answer is so blindingly obvious that Matt is shocked he hadn’t realized it before.After all, Foggy had shown interest in him from day one, with his adorably awkward confession about how good-looking he thought Matt was.Granted the timing was never right, since they’d both been in and out of relationships with various girls.Up until now, Matt had always been so careful around Foggy… something about not ruining the best friendship he’s ever had.But all of Matt’s previous restraint is crumbling beneath a sudden rush of desire, like a child’s sandcastle being demolished by the surging tide.  
  
“Sleep with me,” Matt blurts out, seizing the moment while he can.  
  
Foggy just laughs in response, a bright burst of sound that fills up the room like sunshine.But things start going sideways the instant Matt leans in for a kiss.Instead of the enthusiastic welcome he’d hoped for, Foggy’s just frozen like a deer in headlights.Matt’s nose picks up the sharp spike of adrenaline, the scent of fear-anger-PANIC as Foggy’s fight or flight response kicks in.Somehow everything’s gone wrong in a fraction of a second, and even Matt’s reflexes aren’t fast enough to stop in time.Instead of a passionate first kiss, Matt’s lips awkwardly graze against Foggy’s stubbled jaw before he pulls back again.   
  
“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
  
“Dude, you just tried to kiss me!” Foggy says as he scrambles off the bed.  
  
“I’m sorry, I thought it was something we both wanted.”  
  
“Holy shit, you were actually serious about wanting to sleep with me?!”  
  
“Of course,” Matt says, utterly confused by Foggy’s reaction.His senses don’t lie — he _knows_ how Foggy’s heart rate ticks up every time Matt comes out of the shower.Even now Foggy’s flushed and breathing hard, a hint of arousal emerging despite it all.Matt just needs to fan the flames until Foggy feels the same insistent desire that’s drumming inside him like a heartbeat.   
  
“You like me and I like you,” Matt says reasonably, “Why can’t we just be two friends who make each other feel good?”  
  
“Why not?How about the fact that you’re clearly thinking with your dick and not your brain.Or the fact that you’re obviously _not_ over Elektra.I’m not going to judge if you need to sleep with half of Manhattan as part of your healing process, but I’m not volunteering to be lucky Mr. Number Twenty-Six!”  
  
Some of what Foggy is saying is dead wrong, and some of it is painfully true.Matt can’t find the right words to explain himself, not when he can barely sort out his own feelings or motivations.Everything inside him is still on fire, or maybe it’s only a smouldering wreck…  
  
Matt’s inner turmoil must have shown on his face.Suddenly Foggy’s back beside him, all the anger gone and replaced with his usual kindness.  
  
“Sorry for losing my temper there.Marci said that hypersexuality can be a symptom of a manic episode, especially for people who are bipolar…”  
  
“Being sad and horny after a breakup does not make me crazy!” Matt snaps.  
  
“I didn’t say you were,” Foggy assures him.“But you know it’s a lot more than that.You’re not eating, you’re barely sleeping, and you’re just not acting like yourself lately.Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a counsellor.”  
  
Matt knows that Foggy means well, but everything inside him just recoils at the idea of discussing his issues with a stranger.He hasn’t been to Church or confession since the night he met Elektra, and he still has no idea how he can withstand God’s judgement again.Even opening up to Foggy and Marci had been excruciating, as kind and understanding as they’d been.  
  
“Look Foggy, some things just can’t be fixed with words.Unless you’ve felt it yourself, you just don’t get it.”  
  
“So explain it to me.Help me understand.Is it like going through puberty again, where you just get boners out of nowhere five times a day?”  
  
“Worse,” Matt tells him. “It’s more like a low-grade burn, or a song running through my head on a loop no matter how hard I try to tune it out.Only it’s under my skin and in my blood _all _the time.Having an orgasm makes it quiet down for a little while, but then it just builds and builds again.”What Matt doesn’t say is that his mouth craves a hard dick to suck on.His hands want to stroke along sweat-slick skin, to be filled with a plump breast or a handful of ass.He’s already half-hard just from having Foggy sitting so close on the bed, there’s no need to make things more awkward by getting explicit.  
  
“Wow, that doesn’t even sound like fun anymore.”  
  
“It’s not… or maybe some of it still is.I guess it’s like gorging yourself after you’ve been hungry for so long that you can barely taste the food.”Matt knows that’s not all of it.It’s his soul that’s broken and starving, and sating his body can only provide a brief distraction.   
  
“Matt,” Foggy begins tentatively, “I don’t know what the cure for hypersexuality is, but I don’t think more sex is the answer.”  
  
“It’s the only thing that’s helped, even a little,” Matt says plaintively.“Besides, I think it would be different with you… with us.”  
  
“Why do you even want me?” Foggy asks, sounding so unsure of himself that it makes something lurch painfully inside Matt’s chest.  
  
“Because you’re kind, and funny, and all sorts of wonderful,” he answers.“Since we started law school, I’ve probably laughed more times with you than during the past ten years combined.”Matt takes a chance and reaches for Foggy’s shoulder, and this time Foggy leans in instead of pulling away.“Foggy, I trust you, I care about you.And right now I really, really need you…”  
  
He can feel Foggy wavering, hands pressing tight to his own sides as though they might move of their own accord.“Are you sure this will actually help?” Foggy asks.  
  
Matt nods fervently, and Foggy laughs.Suddenly the last of the tension drains out of the room, and it feels like _them_ again.  
  
“Let me try something,” Foggy says as he reaches for the nape of Matt’s neck and pulls him in.The brush of Foggy’s lips against his own is feather-light and much more chaste than what Matt craves, but it’s still a good kiss nonetheless.   
  
A second kiss soon follows, then a third and fourth._‘Slow down’_ Matt mentally reminds himself, he has to let Foggy set the pace, and resist the impulse to just devour him whole.Luckily Foggy’s quickly ramping up to his speed, with his hands tangled in Matt’s hair and open-mouthed, hungry kisses that Matt could drown in.On a hunch, Matt licks and kisses down the length of Foggy’s neck until he shivers.When he reaches Foggy’s collarbone, Matt bites down with a wicked grin, and Foggy rewards him with a moan that vibrates right into his bones.  
  
“Matt, this is still a _really_ bad idea,” Foggy says when they finally come up for air.  
  
“Isn’t testing out bad ideas what college is all about?”  
  
Foggy laughs against the side of his neck, and Matt must be doing something right, because Foggy launches right back into kissing him.   
  
Finally Foggy lets out a long, shaky breath and says, “Yeah, okay.Let’s do it.”

**{To be Continued}**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for ending on a cliff-hanger here, but the final chapter is pretty much all sexy times :)
> 
> I feel bad that Elektra comes across like a villain in this piece, so here's the break-up from her POV: [As Far Away From You As I Could](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143808).
> 
> This is my first time writing Matt/Foggy, so comments and kudos are especially appreciated!


End file.
